Membership

I went to my church's membership class today. Those are always exciting. No red flags today, just nice, straightforward basics and humble admission about the confusing parts. We didn't really have any nitpickers in the crowd, which was cool. I tried to restrain myself. I enjoyed hearing one seeker's questions - they always ask the questions you never think about.

I like to talk about the membership class at my last church before we moved. It made me appreciate that place so much more than I already did. The two assistant pastors got into a heated discussion about the necessity of rebaptism for someone who has been sprinkled as a child, each taking opposing views in a very cordial, yet strained way. Then they half apologized to the group and explained how the church had leaders from multiple theological backgrounds and that was why they were special, etc. I love seeing leaders act like human beings.

I got that feeling this morning as well. So it was a good day that concreted that we have found a church home.

The Rebel Inside Me

I met a nice lady at the park today. We began conversing through the typical channels - our children. Mind you, these sorts of conversations sound harmless and are usually just communing over a shared interest, but they are also almost always something else - a fact-finding mission. A way of gauging the behavior, size, hygiene, etc. of the child against your own in order to give yourself some kind of good-parent grade. How do I know? Because I've done it. And it ALWAYS starts this way: "So...our children are about the same age - how old is yours?" "Two." (Two is never a good enough answer by the way.) "Jayson turns three in February, so he's about two-and-a-half." Slight grunt of recognition. "So...when is your son's birthday?" You see how this is going. For all you non-parents out there, this comes from our milestone obsession where we get quizzed about our children's newest exploits at every doctor visit.

Anyway, it turns out that this very nice woman is also a Christian. How do I know? Well, here's the next part of the conversation. Her: "Your son is doing very well for his age." Me: "Thanks. Yeah, he's very social. We just put him in preschool two weeks ago and he loves it." "Oh, where do you take him?" "(Insert secular preschool here.)" "Oh, yeah. My older one goes to (insert church affiliated one here.) They're great." "Yeah, I called there, they were full. So where will he go next year for Kindergarten?" "Oh, I'm homeschooling." "Really?" "Yeah. I never thought I'd be the kind of woman to do it but we're giving it a try." "What brought you to that conclusion?" "(Insert random vague comments about kids being exposed to things and too much busywork.)" "Besides, he (pointing to husband) really wants me to do it, and Jayson will have plenty of social interaction. We're in a group at our church that helps with that." "Oh, what church do you go to?"

So there you have it. A few minutes of conversation and I'm left for the rest of the day to wonder if I'm a boob for subjecting my little darling to secular school and even more of one for being suspicious of the mass popularity of homeschooling among Christians. I mean, the rebel inside me almost wants to do the "wrong" things and hope my kid turns out better than theirs. Of course, I love my son too much to do that, or at least I hope I do. I sincerely want to do what's best for him, what's best for our family (sometimes that means what's best for me), and what God really wants. Even if that means homeschooling (wince). There is no easy out. If I put him in school, public or parochial, every day will be a battle to have a louder voice than his peers. Or just a heck of a lot of prayer. So, kudos to the woman who is trying to do what's best for her kids. And shame on me for taking it personally.

Image Management

People are reading this stuff. That scares me. What happened to anonymity?

I want to be the fly on the wall whispering into your ear. Sometimes I want the FBI to tap my phone so I can have a direct line to the government. I wouldn't dream of becoming involved in politics in order to actually try to change something. I'm a little crazy that way, but I like the idea of giving anonymous input, because when I know who you are, suddenly I go into image management mode. It's that whole other-people-and-what-they're-thinking thing that really trips me up. And it's got to stop.

Hey that reminds me of...this week's House episode! The one where the patient takes on the personalities of the doctors because he's lost his own identity. He's really skillful at it, too.

So...I'm going to try really hard not to think about people reading this, because I know I can't be honest when I do. Forget about writing for my reader - somehow that doesn't work out for me.

House

It seems the intersection of faith and science is a hot concept in the entertainment world right now. I know it's not new (think X-files), but a few popular shows have really picked it up, starting with LOST. Which of course immediately drew me in. However, LOST has certainly peaked, and there's another show that's gaining ground. That show is House.

As with LOST, I sometimes wonder if I should really be watching House. I mean, both those shows actually possess the potential to change my worldview. Maybe House more than LOST. The writers this season are obviously toying with the audience - creating in them a desire for the mysterious, the unknown and the afterlife, only to squash it dead. Like, should I really care *what* Hugh Laurie's character saw or didn't see during his near-death experience? And yet, for some bizarre reason I do. Why am I looking to a tv show to tell me that life is more than a naturalistic occurrence ultimately explained by empirical data?

The strangest thing is why I'm still obviously shaky on the subject. God must be shaking his head, thinking, "I did this for you, and this, and this, and you still want more proof." I pretty much heard him say the other day, "If you questioned the world as much as you questioned me, you'd get a lot more of this right..."

Still, I'm waiting for the day when Dr. House has his mystical experience. I mean, this is America after all - could we actually put up with a star character who never had his epiphany? Though I guess if he did that'd be the end of the show.

I once read an article about the 10 rules for a successful blog and Number One was "Don't refer to or apologize for blogging infrequency," so I'm not going to do that, just to let you know. I also know I promised a Darwinism post, but darn if I just don't feel like going there right now. So, what I AM going to talk about is....Softies! Yes, that weird niche of crafters who enjoy creating fluffy, anthropomorphized animals and foodstuffs for pure pleasure.

Secretly, I would like to make my own softie. Perhaps an armadillo or a squirrel with a fuzzy white underbelly. Meanwhile, here are some links to people who show me that I shouldn't waste my time, because they do it so very well.

Since oldschoolacres' site is down, here's a link to her flickr album - her piggies make me covetous!

Alice at futuregirl.com has actually recreated some of her favorite German directors in felt as small woodland creatures.

What WOULD Darwin say about that, or Freud, I wonder?

Searching continues

The more I read Searching the more I like it. At first I saw it as overly political and divisive, but the further I get the more it critiques polarization and winning-side rhetoric from any standpoint. Also, the more Miller talks about Jesus, the more I buy his "lifeboat theory," the theory that we are all scrambling over each other to prove ourselves worthy of staying in the lifeboat of society, lest we be downgraded or thrown out altogether. Jesus, he says, was like an alien looking in on our situation, telling us that all our rules in the lifeboat - accumulation of wealth, separation of class and race, and religious performance for the approval of others to name a few - were futile and meaningless. I think next I'll do a little blog comparing his lifeboat theory with Darwinism. I've thought about it before - is Darwinism a result of the fall? Sometimes I question even the fall as literal. But that's what I do.

Christian and a skeptic

I'm currently reading Searching for God Knows What by Donald Miller. I really appreciate the book, but I keep hitting my head up against something. His universal theory of life is this: people were created for God to tell them who they were. When Adam and Eve ate the apple, they broke the relationship and humans have spent the rest of history looking to each other to tell them who they are. This isn't a completely radical thought, though it is presented in an unorthodox way.

The problem I keep running into is this: All the maladies he ascribes to the Fall could also be explained by good 'ol survival of the fittest. Why do we rank and file each other? To determine sexual fitness. Why are cheerleaders and jocks revered in middle school? See previous answer. And then the big question, "Why is there something missing in our souls that seeks fulfillment?" Perhaps because we are the only animals who have become aware of the cosmic joke that is our existence. Do I really believe this? No, not really. But I'm having a hard time getting epiphanies from the book when these nagging thoughts pop into my head. There is no proving God, I'm painfully aware of that. But I do want to be intellectually honest and pursue alleys and byways that may not be safe or comforting in an effort to find some more of the truth.