I met a nice lady at the park today. We began conversing through the typical channels - our children. Mind you, these sorts of conversations sound harmless and are usually just communing over a shared interest, but they are also almost always something else - a fact-finding mission. A way of gauging the behavior, size, hygiene, etc. of the child against your own in order to give yourself some kind of good-parent grade. How do I know? Because I've done it. And it ALWAYS starts this way: "So...our children are about the same age - how old is yours?" "Two." (Two is never a good enough answer by the way.) "Jayson turns three in February, so he's about two-and-a-half." Slight grunt of recognition. "So...when is your son's birthday?" You see how this is going. For all you non-parents out there, this comes from our milestone obsession where we get quizzed about our children's newest exploits at every doctor visit.
Anyway, it turns out that this very nice woman is also a Christian. How do I know? Well, here's the next part of the conversation. Her: "Your son is doing very well for his age." Me: "Thanks. Yeah, he's very social. We just put him in preschool two weeks ago and he loves it." "Oh, where do you take him?" "(Insert secular preschool here.)" "Oh, yeah. My older one goes to (insert church affiliated one here.) They're great." "Yeah, I called there, they were full. So where will he go next year for Kindergarten?" "Oh, I'm homeschooling." "Really?" "Yeah. I never thought I'd be the kind of woman to do it but we're giving it a try." "What brought you to that conclusion?" "(Insert random vague comments about kids being exposed to things and too much busywork.)" "Besides, he (pointing to husband) really wants me to do it, and Jayson will have plenty of social interaction. We're in a group at our church that helps with that." "Oh, what church do you go to?"
So there you have it. A few minutes of conversation and I'm left for the rest of the day to wonder if I'm a boob for subjecting my little darling to secular school and even more of one for being suspicious of the mass popularity of homeschooling among Christians. I mean, the rebel inside me almost wants to do the "wrong" things and hope my kid turns out better than theirs. Of course, I love my son too much to do that, or at least I hope I do. I sincerely want to do what's best for him, what's best for our family (sometimes that means what's best for me), and what God really wants. Even if that means homeschooling (wince). There is no easy out. If I put him in school, public or parochial, every day will be a battle to have a louder voice than his peers. Or just a heck of a lot of prayer. So, kudos to the woman who is trying to do what's best for her kids. And shame on me for taking it personally.
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homeschooling is the sort of issue that people have really strong feelings about. I find it amusing that she made it clear he'd have plenty of social interaction, that must be the argument homeschoolers come up against most frequently.
I don't have children and I have no idea what I'd do if I did...so much of it depends on the situation of where you are at in life. No one answer is right for everyone. As humans we wish there was a black and white solution and we often look down our noses at anyone who hasn't come to the same conclusions about how best to live life and love our loved ones as we have. And as you have pointed out, we also second guess our own decisions and wonder if we're really getting it right. I'm a platinum card holding member of that club.....
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